Being a 61 year old guy in a world full of other 61 year old guys, this is probably not the first time this situation has come up. As our parents age and they are no longer able to care for themselves, children are frequently placed in the position of having to deal with their property and business affairs. For many of us, this is something of a learning experience as it is not part of our usual order of business, and frankly, one you will not enjoy. Let me relate a little of my personal experience and then we will discuss my bigger fear.

My mother left a nearly useless ten year old will that my stepfather (a good guy) had no doubt forced her to create. She was openly and stubbornly resistant to any discussion about end of life planning. There was no Durable Power of Attorney, no Medical Directive and no instructions to the family about the dispersal of her property. “I’m never going to get old!” was always her position. When a medical crisis last Fall precipitated an Alzheimer’s meltdown and sudden diagnosis of incompetency, we were faced with a gun to our heads as to “what do you want to do with your mother”? She had to go someplace NOW! We had no ideas about where she could go, what it was going to take for her future care and perhaps of most immediate concern, by whom and how was all of this going to be paid for?

Missouri Social Services made it clear that someone had to be appointed her Guardian and Conservator or the state would assume that role. I drew the short straw and with the help of my personal attorney’s office (you are going to need a good one!), petitioned the Jackson County Court for that position. I made a court appearance and was officially awarded custody on March 13th, four and a half months after my mother was confined to the nursing home. Even though the net value of her estate was less than $25,000, the process of disposing of her car, life insurance policy, forty six years of home contents, and finally the house, took another five and a half months, each step requiring a petition to and an order from the court. Guess what that cost? She lost everything, including the ability to make sure special family things were given to whoever she wanted to have them. Spending down all of her assets to less than $1000 allowed her to qualify for Missouri Medicaid, and her care will now be covered for the rest of her life. I’m sure you’ve cursed Medicaid as a provider, but trust me, one of these days they will be your new best friend.

The hard part is behind us, and now other than occasional reporting to the State and the Court, I can give up my part time job (plan on 12-15 hours per week) as the Executor of her estate. Sadly, almost all of this could have been avoided by a couple of simple documents. What’s really scary though is this;

I’m willing to bet that a high percentage of you reading this article are poised to leave your family in EXACTLY the same shape, and since you have assets, maybe even worse!

Randall Hallier of Creative Planning, Inc., located in Leawood, Kansas says that over 50% of the Baby Boomers do not have a current and accurate will. Think that won’t affect you? Not a year has gone by since we have owned this company that we have not received one or two of “those calls”. You know the kind; “Doc had a heart attack and died while he was on vacation” or “Doc had a stroke last week and is never going to come home.” “What do we do?” The short answer is “I don’t know, what did he want you to do?” Unfortunately, very little thought ever goes into the answer to that question.

Every person reading this article should have these three things in place; a current will, a Durable Power of Attorney and a Medical Directive. In addition, every practice owner should have a Memo of Direction in place and available to the family as to what to do with the practice. We have one on our website and although we would certainly be willing to help, it’s a Word document and you may edit it as you see fit to make sure that someone you trust knows a little about your business and how you would like it cared for in the event of a tragedy. To not have some succession plan in place is unfair to your patients, staff and family. Today is the best day you will ever have for taking care of this very important piece of business. Call me if you want some help or need a referral.

As we went through this, our kids would frequently check to make sure that we weren’t planning to “do this to us.” I assured them that we were better prepared and had faced the prospect of our eventual demise and planned accordingly. My hope is that they will not pull the plug until I’m done using it!

Steve Wolff, DDS

UMKC Class of ‘77